


Monster Movie Madness

by dracusfyre



Series: Blood and Iron [10]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Established Relationship, Halloween, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, M/M, Mischief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:48:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27341482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracusfyre/pseuds/dracusfyre
Summary: Tony knew Halloween would be Loki’s favorite holiday.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Series: Blood and Iron [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/590155
Comments: 15
Kudos: 204
Collections: I Needed a Laugh Today, Tony Stark Bingo Mark IV





	Monster Movie Madness

**Author's Note:**

> For the Tony Stark Bingo Mark IV! I know I'm a bit late for Halloween but I hope you enjoy this bit o' lighthearted nonsense. 
> 
> Card Number: 4032  
> Square: A5 "Humor:  
> Ship: Loki x Tony Stark  
> Rating: G  
> Warnings: None  
> Summary: Tony knew Halloween would be Loki’s favorite holiday.

Loki’s eyebrows drew together in concentration as he stared at Peter from across the table. Beside him, Tony let out a quiet sigh of resignation and put a hand over his face. Meanwhile, Peter was staring at them both with a confused dismay, somehow feeling like he had screwed up but not sure how.

“You mean, you’ve never heard of Halloween?” He said in disbelief. “But…how?”

Tony gave him a significant look from behind his hand and Peter looked even more confused. Tony wasn’t going to admit that he’d tried his best to keep Halloween something of a secret from Loki for what he hoped was obvious reasons, but he hadn’t accounted for the fact that Peter would be so excited about it that he would start talking Halloween decorations on _October 2 nd _when he’d invited him and May over for dinner.

“In my day, it was known as Samhain and had none of these rituals that you mention.” Loki turned his gaze towards Tony who quickly rearranged his face to look politely interested. May had paused eating as she watched the show. “Did you know of this?”

Tony shrugged. “It’s mostly a kid thing,” he said, and heard Peter swallowed an instinctive sound of protest. “Kids get dressed up, wander around their neighborhoods and ask for candy. For most grownups it’s just another day,” he lied through his teeth, pretending like he hadn’t thrown lavish parties every year since he was 21 and hadn’t spent many of those years of trying to top Rhodey in who could come up with the most outlandish Halloween costume.

Loki looked thoughtful and didn’t say anything else, which didn’t do anything to allay Tony’s general sense of dread. He knew goddamn well that this wasn’t going to be the end of it and that the real question wasn’t _if_ Loki was going to do something on Halloween, but whether if people would call the police or the National Guard. Peter looked guilty and went back to his food, and an awkward silence would have ruined the rest of dinner had May, bless her, not successfully changed the topic to Peter’s college plans and saved the evening

Tony waited _weeks_ for Loki to say anything else, but he never brought it up again which was way worse. At least questions would give him some idea of what Loki was planning, but he hadn’t talked to Stephen about it either, _or_ texted Peter, which means he was probably learning all about Halloween on the internet. Tony didn’t know whether to bring it up or hope that Loki would share his plans, so finally the day before Halloween he broke down over dinner and said, “I know you’re planning something for tomorrow.”

“What’s tomorrow?” Loki said innocently, the little shit. He pretended to think. “Oh, that childish holiday Parker mentioned some time ago?”

“Cut the shit, Loki,” Tony said, pointing his fork at Loki. “I’m serious.”

“I don’t know why you would think I’m planning something for a holiday that humans have established as the one time of year they appreciate being terrified,” he said. His face was serene but Tony could see the smirk in the corners of his eyes.

 _Terrified._ Oh, God, it was worse than he imagined. “First off, not everyone celebrates Halloween. I’m going to say that the national security apparatuses of most countries would be in that category. Second, for the love of God, give New York a break, I think they’ve suffered enough for a while.”

Loki leaned over the table and kissed him, and Tony could feel his smile against his lips. “Trust me, Stark,” he said, and the look in his eye reminded Tony that Loki, first and foremost, was known as the God of _Mischief_.

When Loki disappeared the next day, Tony knew that whatever he was planning was about to begin. Resigned, he made sure his phone was charged and set it on the coffee table, then made popcorn and sat down to watch _Gothika_ and waited for the news notifications to begin.

The first ding came thirty minutes into the movie. Tony looked at his phone. _Creature Sighted Off the Coast of Japan._ Tony opened up the article and saw blurry photos of what looked like Godzilla wading in the waters off the coast of Tokyo. Twitter and YouTube were on fire with photos and videos, and Tony was in the middle of one video when Fury called.

“Tony,” Fury said warningly, and Tony didn’t even bother asking why he was calling.

“Peter told Loki about Halloween,” he said, and had to smile at Fury’s exaggerated sigh of ire.

“I thought we _agreed-_ ”

“Hey, I did my best,” Tony said. “Two years he’s been living here and I managed to distract him. Not my fault Peter spilled the goods.”

“Fine. I’ll call the President back and let him know and he’ll have to figure out how to break the news to the Japanese PM. Do you know what else he’s planning?”

“Nope, sorry.” Tony said, flipping the TV over to CNN. God it was nice to get a break from the election news to see Wolf Blitzer say the words, “Is Godzilla Real?”

“Funny, you don’t _sound_ sorry,” Fury muttered, and hung up the phone. CNN ran with the Godzilla lead for a while, and just as the ticker on the bottom of the screen was mentioning Japan’s military scrambling to intercept the creature, it waded back into deeper waters and disappeared. The news covered that hysterically for a while, and when they started repeating themselves Tony went back to his movie. It was suspiciously quiet for a while, then another ding announced that what looked like a dragon was apparently flying over central Europe, with confirmed sightings ranging from Vienna to Berlin and even down to Bucharest.

Tony was zooming in on a blurry picture, trying to see the dragon, when a text message notification popped up on his screen. _Is this Loki?_ Peter asked, forwarding him a news article of the dragon.

 _I think so,_ Tony wrote back.

 _I’m so sorry,_ Peter said. 

The text bubbles bounced for a while and Tony could only imagine the essay Peter was writing. _Don’t be,_ he wrote back. _I think this is the most fun he’s had for a while._

The bubbles stopped bouncing then started up again. _It is pretty funny,_ Peter said. The next message was a screen shot of a conversation with his friend Ned, and the whole conversation seemed to be primarily exclamation points and question marks. _Ned is losing his mind._

Tony sent back one of the crying laughing emojis, and watched dragon news until that got interrupted by the BBC’s announcement of Loch Ness’s appearance in Scotland. By now, the journalists had caught on to the theme of the evening, and now the more clever news stations had headlines like “Movie Monster Mayhem” and “Monster Movie Marathon,” and guesses ran rampant as to which monster would be the next to show. At this point, terror had given way to a sort of glee as the world collectively realized that none of these monsters were actually killing or hurting anyone, and everyone was excited to be talking about something new.

The final show of the evening was a giant squid-bat-man monster emerging off the coast of New England, sweeping fishing boats to the side as it emerged from the depths. “Cthulu Rises!” Twitter exclaimed, and the government’s attempts to make official statements were drowned out by pundits and people proclaiming loyalty to their new chthonic overlord. At some point, this monster disappeared somewhere in Massachusetts and Tony turned off the news and silenced his phone for the night. Loki appeared not too long after, settling next to Tony on the couch with a general air of satisfaction.

“Have a good night?” Tony asked, moving around so he could lean against Loki’s side and rest his head on his shoulder.

“Yes.” There was a little more shuffling as Loki moved to put his arm around Tony, which made Tony need to move again, but eventually they were both comfortable as they watched the next movie Tony put on, one from 1999 about a serial killer.

“Thank you for not doing King Kong here in New York,” Tony said. It was the most obvious movie monster that never made an appearance, and Tony was charmed when he realized why it hadn’t.

“You asked,” Loki said, and pressed a kiss to the top of his forehead. “Did Fury call?”

“Just the one time. I think you might have given him a migraine or a nervous tic.”

Tony felt and heart Loki’s sharp laugh. “Good.” Loki and Fury had been antagonizing each other for months now; Tony could just imagine what Fury was going to do next to get even.

“Happy Halloween, Loki.”

“Happy Halloween, Stark.”

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Epilogue:

Other stories took days to trickle through the internet into popular awareness. A Naga in the Mekong River was reported by the _Bangkok Post._ A giant Yeti witnessed by mountain climbers in Nepal was picked up and presented with some skepticism by _Dainik Bhaskar_ in India. _Moscow Times_ reported that an enormous reptile crawled out of Lake Labynkyr in Siberia (“The Devil of Lake Labynkyr?” the headline ran) and terrorized villages for almost an hour before disappearing. A giant troll in Norway, spotted by an entire train full of passengers. An ogre striding across valleys in Iceland. An Impundulu light up the skies over Johannesburg and a Ninki Nanka apparently swam up the river in Gambia. Tony was scrolling through various websites, some more legitimate than others, trying to find all the places Loki had visited on Halloween and showing them to Loki for confirmation. Most were only met with a small, smug smile, but when Tony showed him a video of a giant blurry humanoid reported from the Caucasus Mountains in Georgia – allegedly an Almaty, another Sasquatch variation from the sound of it – Loki looked twice and frowned.

“That….wasn’t me,” he said, meeting Tony’s suddenly worried gaze.


End file.
